until 6/6/06.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Camel Spiders.

Petezilla cares about you, and he would like to warn you about a horrible horrible creature that lurks this planet:



Here we see two of these vile things stuck to each other, the bottom one trying to eat the top one. These creatures come from the deserts of the Middle East, and stories of them started circulating since the Gulf War. Now US troops in Iraq are encountering these bad boys. The picture above is a legitamate photo (popular 'round the net) of two camel spiders that bit a serviceman, they were found hiding in his sleeping bag. A little information about our lovely arachnid atrocities:

  1. No they are not poisonous, however their bite can be very painful, and due to the huge size of their jaws, the bite will have trouble healing normally. Some stories have suggested that they have a numbing venom, and this is also reportedly not true. So camel spiders need no venoumous jive to mess you up, they will simply tear your ass apart with their horrible bite. The pain is reportedly horrible and people die not from venom but from shock and infection.
  2. People have made claims that they reach incredible speeds up to 25 mph. Well, thats not true on average, but how about 15 mph?! You lose either way. Worst of all they like to stay out of sunlight so if you are near one, it will try to stay in your shadow and follow your shadow if you move. 15 mph is too fast for any arachnid to follow my shadow.
  3. With their horrible jaws they devour snakes, birds, scorpions, and other like-sized creatures. When they eat, their bodies get up to twice the original size until their meal is fully digested. Yum!
  4. The size of these things seems to be much disputed, some have reported seeing them the size of dinner plates, some report that they are mostly the size of an adult human hand. There are, however, substantiated reports of camel spiders that reach supernatural sizes, beacuse these things have hyper eating habits, the are constantly scurrying around for food.
Now some terrible new reports have come up recently since the Iraq war about camel spiders smuggling themselves overseas in the bags and gear of returning troops! You might say to yourself "yea right, nothing that horrible could ever come over here!" but thats what we all thought before the Twin Towers were knocked down. Out of pure concern for people, I must attempt to make you all aware of this. Camel spiders are not the first arthropod arachnids to figure out this migratory system, it is very common in places in the US that recieve banana shipments from tropical regions for workers unloading the banana crates to find scorpions in the crates! Usually this will be someplace like Florida, where the crates have made their first stop before being shipped elsewhere. Now camel spiders are starting to turn up in the US as troops arrive from home and unpack their desert gear. Plenty of shade for them to hide in once they get over here, so watch out!


5 Comments:

Blogger Carlos said...

GOD DAMN! i would really hate to have one of them attack me at night or what not. Nice post!

12:56 AM

 
Anonymous Courtney said...

My Boyfriend is in iraq fighting the war and im not going to lie about this... I'm more scared of him being eatin by a camel spider than i am the actual war...
K thnx

10:57 AM

 
Blogger KoRiNa said...

DAM!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE NERVER SEEN SOMETHING LIKE THAT! THAT THING CAN EAT MY DOG

12:36 PM

 
Blogger Thomas said...

they probably added that last paragraph just to scare u. "Smuggling" themselves seems pretty unlikely.

6:28 PM

 
Blogger WHAT said...

ya ok its deadly but could they be like tranturla's were they are big but won't bite a human. and if they do bite your bigger hum i wander should i scream and panic of should i step on the mother fucker. hat is it going to have acid blood that will mealt me. stop bull shiting its a fuckin animal that can only bite. i'm more afriad of a guy or girl that i dont know that could fallow me in an alley and shoot my ass.

5:29 PM

 

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