until 6/6/06.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

June 6, 2006

I would just like to let it be known that my birthday is on next monday, 6/6/05, and that next year in 2006 my birthday will fall on 6/6/06. Im not sure what will happen on 6/6/06, but I have a few guesses:

  1. I will have a birthday.
  2. I will have a birthday and the world will end.
  3. I will be burned alive at the stake
  4. I will become the devil
  5. Nothing (the world had already ended by then)
  6. There will be a big 6/6/06 convention and I will be invited and we will all ring in the devil's year together.
Granted, nothing spectacular seems to have happened on previous 6/6/06's (june 6 1906, 1806, 1706, 1606, etc), but times are crazy these days so you never know.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Camel Spiders.

Petezilla cares about you, and he would like to warn you about a horrible horrible creature that lurks this planet:



Here we see two of these vile things stuck to each other, the bottom one trying to eat the top one. These creatures come from the deserts of the Middle East, and stories of them started circulating since the Gulf War. Now US troops in Iraq are encountering these bad boys. The picture above is a legitamate photo (popular 'round the net) of two camel spiders that bit a serviceman, they were found hiding in his sleeping bag. A little information about our lovely arachnid atrocities:

  1. No they are not poisonous, however their bite can be very painful, and due to the huge size of their jaws, the bite will have trouble healing normally. Some stories have suggested that they have a numbing venom, and this is also reportedly not true. So camel spiders need no venoumous jive to mess you up, they will simply tear your ass apart with their horrible bite. The pain is reportedly horrible and people die not from venom but from shock and infection.
  2. People have made claims that they reach incredible speeds up to 25 mph. Well, thats not true on average, but how about 15 mph?! You lose either way. Worst of all they like to stay out of sunlight so if you are near one, it will try to stay in your shadow and follow your shadow if you move. 15 mph is too fast for any arachnid to follow my shadow.
  3. With their horrible jaws they devour snakes, birds, scorpions, and other like-sized creatures. When they eat, their bodies get up to twice the original size until their meal is fully digested. Yum!
  4. The size of these things seems to be much disputed, some have reported seeing them the size of dinner plates, some report that they are mostly the size of an adult human hand. There are, however, substantiated reports of camel spiders that reach supernatural sizes, beacuse these things have hyper eating habits, the are constantly scurrying around for food.
Now some terrible new reports have come up recently since the Iraq war about camel spiders smuggling themselves overseas in the bags and gear of returning troops! You might say to yourself "yea right, nothing that horrible could ever come over here!" but thats what we all thought before the Twin Towers were knocked down. Out of pure concern for people, I must attempt to make you all aware of this. Camel spiders are not the first arthropod arachnids to figure out this migratory system, it is very common in places in the US that recieve banana shipments from tropical regions for workers unloading the banana crates to find scorpions in the crates! Usually this will be someplace like Florida, where the crates have made their first stop before being shipped elsewhere. Now camel spiders are starting to turn up in the US as troops arrive from home and unpack their desert gear. Plenty of shade for them to hide in once they get over here, so watch out!


Friday, May 27, 2005

My ordeal with X-rays

This is the blog of Petezilla. Let me tell you something about X-Rays:

I sprained my ankle storming downstairs a little over a month ago, and fractured my fifth metatarsal in the process (that would be on the right side of your right foot, the shaft of the smallest toe). I had to wear a beautiful surgical shoe for a few weeks, it was nothing too serious, and I was wearing normal shoes after a few weeks with no pain.

Today I went to have a follow-up X-ray, and after that my ankle hasnt been quite right all day. In fact, it feels like its going to give out at any moment while im standing. After some research, I have come to realize that X-Rays are not as safe as most people would have you believe!

X-Rays have a smaller wavelength than visible light and ultraviolet light, and thus more energy. Now, ultraviolet is known to cause skin cancer: it makes the cells unstable, which makes it possible for them to start multiplying erratically. This is why you wear sunscreen while tanning (hopefully), you dont want to contract skin cancer. So what exactly is an energy source of higher intensity and frequency going to do to your cells? When you go to the dentist, they give you that rediculous lead smock, while they leave the room completely. When I had my foot x-rayed today, the controls for the machine were in a little booth. And you think they do this because they think they're better than us? No, its because they are quite aware of the dangers and would not like to be exposed to it on a regular basis. See this site for information. The dosage of radiation that people at the Three Mile Island incident were exposed to was 1100 milirems. The average breast mammography blasts away at 1500! I have concluded that the X-rays that were blasted at my foot today weakened the healing tendons in my foot. Beware!

The Future

Petezilla Says: Today's weirdos are tomorrow's leaders, and then they are weirdos again the day after that.

Technology is expanding extremely fast these days, in a logarithmic fashion: faster and faster. Think about it, its not that hard, you know you already need a new computer. Ipods were all the rage for a few weeks, now you'll get made fun of for having one in school. Wireless technology is exploding, USB wireless is coming, wireless internet is so plentiful that if you drive through a suburban development with a laptop or ppc looking for connections you will find 10+ unprotected connections. You can even even park your Powerbook at Staryups and they have wireless hubs in there. You get the picture, the future is happening right now, and there's so much that could possibly happen in the coming future that I believe if you just simply imagine something reasonable, it will be around soon enough. So, here are my predictions for the future, and we'll see if I'm right:

- iThis and iThat. They're not stopping with it. Pretty soon they'll have iPhone: cell phone, web browser, text device, media player extrordinare, and eventually iThing, which will have control over everything that was once controlled by something else.

-Microsoft will release the XPack: this is the mother of all multimedia flash-bang contraptions. This thing will be like a backpack (made of hiply styled teflon and kevlar that you could rollerblade with, dude) that has a helmet or mask connected it to it that encapsulates your head and displays information to you at maximum rate and volume, perhaps receives commands from your frantically blinking eyelids to pass as controls and to cue up more and more media. We're talking about playing 6 or 7 video games at once, having a good 40+ web pages open, playing 100 or more UMF's* at once, up to 50 of which can be video. This XPack will be the ultimate entertainment medium, occupying every last ounce of brain power.

- *UMF: Universal Media File (*.umf), the media type of the near future. When the RIAA finally realizes they will never stop all the "open source" people out there, they will get together with the reigning computer companies to establish this media format. Codecs provided only by Microsoft, of course (or will it be Mac? or MacroSoft? Maplesoft?)

- In time, the air will be filled with so much energy (radio waves, wireless internet signal, cell phone signal, other remote wireless devices) that we will have to remain encapsulated in a solid gold case for our whole lives, and we will experience our version of "reality" through that suit, or we will just remain locked up in our houses which have been adapted to keep you from melting in the waves while providing adequate technological means of simulating reality.

 
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